Sunday February 21, 2016

Ephesians 4:15, 25 – Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. … 25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

James 1:19 – Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

The Goal of Communication: Real communication exchanges more than information or emotion; it exchanges meanings. Real communication exchanges actual meaning through an awareness of its various methods:

-Words Alone = 7% of meaning
-Tone of Voice = 38% of meaning
-Facial Expression, gestures & posture = 55% of meaning
-Total Non-Verbal = 93% of meaning

Be honest – Speak the truth in love.
Be angry – Deal with anger appropriately.
Be diligent – Work hard on your relationship.
Be positive – Don’t wound with your words.
Be forgiving – Be the first to say, “ I’m sorry.”

The Conference: a tool for listening.
The Three Questions: a place to begin.

-What are you concerned about?
-What do you wish?
-What are you willing to do?

The love language: a full love tank.

-Words of Affirmation
-Acts of Service
-Receiving Gifts
-Quality Time
-Physical Touch

Dwayne & Angie Terry

Swing!

Dancing With Your Spouse, Part 03

The Goal of Communication

  • Real communication exchanges more than information or emotion; it exchanges meanings.
  • Real communication exchanges actual meaning through an awareness of its various methods:
  • Words Alone = 7% of meaning
  • Tone of Voice = 38% of meaning
  • Facial Expression, gestures & posture = 55% of meaning
  • Total Non-Verbal = 93% of meaning

The Depth of Communication

Level 1: Cliché Conversations = safe, shallow, polite

Level 2: Reporting Facts = refers basically to third person

Level 3: Ideas or Judgments = risk begins here

Level 4: Feelings and Emotions = laying yourself on the line

Level 5: Open communication = total honesty “Mutual Understanding” – Vulnerability

The Principles of Communication

  • Be honest – Speak the truth in love.

Ephesians 4:15, 25 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. … 25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

  • Be angry – Deal with anger appropriately.

Ephesians 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

  • Be diligent – Work hard on your relationship.

Ephesians 4:28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

  • Be positive – Don’t wound with your words.

Ephesians 4:29-31 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

James 1:19 Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

  • Be forgiving – Be the first to say, “ I’m sorry.”

Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

The Practicality of Communication

  • The Conference: a tool for listening.
  • The Three Questions: a place to begin.
  1. What are you concerned about?
  2. What do you wish?
  3. What are you willing to do?
  • The love language: a full love
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

Discussion Questions

  1. What did you learn about communication that was new or helpful to you?
  2. Which of the five Biblical Principles concerning communication from Eph 4 do you do well?
  3. For which of the five Biblical Principles do you need to ask God for grace & help to communicate in a way that would honor Him?
  4. Which of the skills shared do you think would help your relationship the most? (The Conference, The Questions, The Love Languages)
  5. What specific step of faith are you going to take to improve the communication in your marriage?