Sunday October 20, 2013 – In preparing for marriage, we need to ensure that we are choosing our mate because we truly love them unconditionally and are being led by God to them, making sure it is not just an infatuation.

There is no substitute for spiritual authority in your life. – Pastor Dwayne Terry

How to Know if You’ve Found ‘The One’

3 Kinds of Love

  1. _______ Love – This is ______ love. Prov 5:15-19
  2. __________ Love – This is ____________ love. Rom 12:9-13
  3. __________ Love – This is a ________ love. 1 Cor 13:4-8

Test #1 – ________ Love grows, and all growth requires time. Infatuation may come suddenly.

Test #2 – ____________ Love grows out of an appraisal of all the known characteristics of the other person. Infatuation may arise from an acquaintance with only a few or only one of these characteristics.

Test #3 – ________ Love is other-person-centered. It is outgoing. It results in sharing. Infatuation is self-centered.

Test #4 – ______________ Genuine love is centered on one person only. An infatuated individual may be “in love” with two or more persons simultaneously.

Test #5 – ___________ An individual in love tends to have a sense of security and a feeling of trust after considering everything involved in his relationship with the other person. An infatuated individual tends to have a blind sense of security based upon wishful thinking rather than upon careful consideration, or he may have a sense of insecurity that is sometimes expressed as jealousy.

Test #6 – _______ An individual in love works for the other person or for their mutual benefit. He may study to make the other person proud of him. His ambition is spurred and he plans and saves for the future. He may daydream, but his dreams are reasonably attainable. An infatuated person may lose his ambition, his appetite, his interest in everyday affairs. He thinks of his own misery. He often daydreams, but his dreams are sometimes not limited to the attainable and are given free rein. At times the dreams become substitutes for reality and the individual lives in his world of dreams.

Test #7 – ___________________ A couple in love faces problems frankly and attempts to solve them. If there are barriers to their getting married, these barriers are approached intelligently and removed. Such as cannot be removed may be circumvented, but with the knowledge that what is done is deliberate circumvention. In infatuation, problems tend to be disregarded or glossed over.

Test #8 – ___________ Love tends to be constant. Infatuation often varies with the distance between the couple.

Test #9 – _________________________________________ Physical attraction is a relatively smaller part of their total relationship when a couple is in love, a relatively greater part when they are infatuated. When a couple is in love, any physical contact they have tends to have meaning as well as be a pleasurable experience in and of itself. It tends to express what they feel toward each other. In infatuation, physical contact tends to be an end in itself. It represents only pleasurable experience devoid of meaning.

Test #10 – ______________ In love an expression of affection tends to come relatively late in the couple’s relationship. In infatuation, it may come earlier, sometimes from the very beginning.

Test#11–_____________Lovetendstoendure. Infatuationmaychange suddenly, unpredictably.

Test #12 – ___________________________ A couple in love is not indifferent to the effects of postponement of their wedding and do not prolong the period of postponement unless they find it wiser to wait a reasonable time; they do not feel an almost irresistible drive toward haste. Infatuated couples tend to feel an urge toward getting married. Postponement is intolerable to them and they interpret it as deprivation rather than preparation.

1. A word to singles – Keep your ________________ and ________________ involvement behind your leading from God and commitment to the other person.

2. A word to the married – Love requires the nourishment of all three kinds of love. Examine which one ____________ ____________ needs most and choose to give it as an act of worship to God.